My Personal Journey with Goddess Mythology
I honor those who try to rid themselves of any lying. Who empty the self and have only clear being there.
___ RUMI
Many years ago I posed the question to myself "What would life look like if I lived each day as if I were a Goddess?" with an intent to seek Unconditional Love within. Eager to understand the core potential of the Goddess archetype in everyday life, I observed my behavior and response to life with a sincere wish to rise above fear and self-denial. As I met the crossroads of everyday challenges I committed to an awakened path, one that would ruthlessly and lovingly guide me toward an honest life. I pondered, "if I AM the Goddess, each situation I face is a Divine Mirror of my own destiny, and, consequently, not one particle of my experience is outside the ring of my own choice and consciousness." The concept "It is never about the other person" became more and more real. Each opportunity for growth that greeted me would be met with the question, "What would the Goddess do right now?" I listened with all my heart to the voice of My High Self with earnest clarity and fearlessness discovering that the commitment to live a conscious life is not without the maladies of human emotion and suffering. I learned that the hardships in life are part of Her boundless effort to empower our identity with strength and goodwill. Woven within the fabric of my own journey to become whole involved the passage of raising my three daughters. The archetype of Mother strengthened my desire to understand the virtues of The Divine Feminine, and, together, the four of us have pushed up against each other in the various roles we play in order to mold and knead the shape of our emerging selves. Each woman has her own archetypal mirror that assists her to actualize fullness of Self. A fiery self-motivated person by nature, learning to nurture and extend my Self beyond my self was the gift mothering offered to me.
I asked myself the above question time and time again, each time searching for a real answer. What remained constant, however, was my earnest attempt to undo the shackles of my own self-defeating patterns that governed an unconscious stream of emotion. Like many other energetic and creative women in our modern society, I willed my heart and soul to courageous tasks, aimed high even when the going got rough, exercised, coached softball for the kids, made huge dinners for friends and family, and tried to be the perfect lover and mate in two failed marriages. When the going got really rough I didn't stop. I couldn't. I didn't want to fail at the task of offering the world a woman of strength and stamina. One that could never fail. I later learned the trappings of that engrained paradigm, and saw how truly sad it is when we rob ourselves the opportunity to greet the natural rhythms of light and dark in our daily life.
While writing and creating Inner Child Cards, published in 1993 by Bear and Company, I sought to retrieve the patchwork of childhood, raised my daughters, and found solace in the study of fairy tales and tarot. As time passed, my adoration for flowers and their healing elixirs inspired my next deck, The Power of Flowers, published in 1999, which associates the divine potential of archetypal consciousness to the healing properties of flowers. This work healed me deeply. I wanted to manifest the magnificence of life and remain open to my aspirations and dreams. Budding like a jewel embraced by the caress of green mother stemming, I began to feel whole and radiant within. I circled toward the question of years past "What would life really be like if I were a Goddess? Would I believe I am loved at all times, would I adorn my body with approving glances, splendor more in the movement of my hips, and would I never doubt my worthiness again? Not entirely. As I embraced The Divine Feminine in my everyday life I began to embody the various archetypal stages that encompass the wholeness of Her Mystery.
I came to know Her as the Divine Feminine; a source of Love existing in dark, light, and rainbow hues. Known as Black Madonna, Mother Mary, Isis, Kali in symbolic myth or a fairy queen in folklore, she is masked as Wicked Step Mother and adorned with purity as Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, or Cinderella fairy tales. She is our mother, your sister, a daughter, a favorite aunt, or a best friend. She is The Triple Goddess representing the renewal of life and the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. She lives in both women and men. She resides in the fanciful imagination of our heart and in the earthen caverns of our deepest longings. She is our every breath. Her imagery can be as glorious as a papaya sunset or a fading blossom within a withering flower. She embodies the tension and strife of hunger and the gaunt look of a lost and lonely soul. She is everywhere, in every aspect of life, each day. She moves in and out, like the tides of the ocean, appearing when she is needed, pulling back when we dare to stand on our own. She observes our mistakes and forgives. She heralds our triumphs and blesses our gain. Protecting each human soul with her watchful eye her ecology, biology, psychology, and religion overlights us with Universal Truth and Never Ending Love.
Attempting to live my life as the Goddess might; seeking to resolve my angst and my pain within the context of Her inspired Vision I came face to face with the mystery of the Goddess in everyday life. As a maturing woman in my late forties I reached a pinnacle of insight that would change my life forever and become the intention and source of inspiration for The Triple Goddess Tarot. As I engaged with Her essence in my daily life the answer to my previous question became marbled and chiseled with new meaning. Essentially, the various garments, or archetypal potentials that She drapes over my life at various stages of evolution have remained the stepping stones toward a gradual acceptance of my True Self. I learned that fear, anger, strife and suffering are as integral aspects of Her garment as joy, abundance, forgiveness, and love. My ceaseless search for the ideal life, partner, body, financial security, etc., was an unbalanced attempt to embody Her essence void of earth bound mistakes and imperfections. I learned that my body is the treasure that holds her Divine Truth, and, therefore, to negate the bounty of the human form is to deny Her right to live within me. Embodying this truth, I could hold my ground when it quivered with sadness, I could stand among others with head held high when feeling weak and afraid, and I could shine in all Her glory with each passing triumph that blessed my life. Thus, The Triple Goddess Tarot became my next step of evolution that would stir my soul with passion.
How will you know the difficulties of being human,
If you're always
Flying off to blue perfection?
Where
will you plant your
grief seeds?
We need
Ground
To scrape and hoe, not the sky of unspecified desire.
_____ RUMI
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